By Jennifer Moses 12 May 2017 To: The Office of the President From: Patricia “Pinky” Jones-Packer Subject: Application/Final Round/Fully Vetted HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL / HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL…
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ASSISTANT (on intercom): President Pence, I have Mrs. Pence calling for you on the Hotline. MIKE PENCE: (out of breath) Thank you, Melania. ASSISTANT: I’m…
By Alison Stellner 12 April 2017 WASHINGTON, DC – Recent suspicions circulating on social media of a toxic, communicable disease have been verified. According to…
By Martin H. Levinson 9 April 2017 The Field Guide to People of the USA is the most up-to-date resource for identifying Homo sapiens living…
For those of you who just couldn’t take it anymore and shut off the news last spring, let me commend you – and briefly summarize…
Despite his Ultimate Celebrity status, Jesus Christ has been unable to schedule a meeting with President Trump, so recently the King of Kings made a…
This is not criticism. It’s an opportunity. We’re sure you’re aware of the senior citizens complaining about the Uber app. They’re in news reports whining…
Hello, and thank you for reading, Dr. Worzelwort’s Guide to Coping with Social Anxiety and Depression. This book uses a technique cultivated by the revered…
Welcome to JUPITER, and the incredible luxury of autonomous driving! Take a nap for the entire trip; eat, drink (not to excess, because JUPITER has…
By Tracy Strauss January 14, 2017 #1: July 1, 2016. I request that you reimburse me for having to purchase, upon move-in, a working carbon…
By Jon Reiner 24 December 2016 United States Border Crossing, Houlton, ME, December 24, 2016 Record of Sworn Statement in Proceedings under Section 235(b)(1) of…
According to state patrician, Adrastia Aurelia Faustulus, a new approach to increase student apathy is about to roll over factory facilitators at the Corporate College…
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