America's Most Critical Journal since 1999
By Ana Worrel and Amy Frances Wright I wanna start by assuring you that I’m not gonna, like, mine a sophisticated profile of your personality to sell to nefarious third party consulting firms or anything like that. Sudoku’s a simple app. I’m just here to... More »
by Molly McCaffrey Donald Trump is a real hoot! He’ll say anything. I love that guy. Bernie Sanders used a salad fork to eat steak in 1972. He’s the least electable person in history. Mitt Romney is insanely ethical. I love that guy. Elizabeth Warren’s ... More »
Curated By Mollie Fermaglich JUST WHEN YOU’D HOPED THEY’D GO AWAY FOREVER –THEY’RE BACK, WITH THEIR NEW ALBUM, FEATURING SOME OF THEIR GREATEST HITS! IT’S THE SQUAD! THAT’S RIGHT – ILHAN, AOC, RASHIDA AND AYANA PRESSLEY, HAVE STOPPED BITCHING A... More »
By Eric Lichtblau Dear Iowa, This is never easy, so I’ll just say it: We need to end it. It’s just not working for me anymore. Yes, you were “the first.” You’ll always be the first, at least in my heart. But we b... More »
By Don Mousted Thank you for joining me this morning in the President’s absence. I would ask that you listen closely to what I have to say, then read the entire memo several times and discuss it together as well. Your help in this matter will prove invaluabl... More »
by T.H. Cee Pharmaceutical Vignette #1: The scene opens. An obese man edited into a cheesy one-dimensional outer space backdrop flies on the back of a rocket freakishly reminiscent of a red jalapeno as it orbits Uranus. The spokesperson for the commercial begi... More »
By Danny Neary As a devout conservative, I believe very strongly that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is wrong about the facts and would definitely like me if she gave me a chance. Ocasio-Cortez has been making headlines just about every day since she became the yo... More »
By Jerry Robbins A Book for Lefties, by Neil Armstrong. When he realized he couldn’t work most of the levers and dials in his spacecraft, Neil vowed to write this book. It encourages all southpaws to stand up for their lefts. Twelve Principles of Impos... More »
By Dawn Corrigan VOICE OVER: Hoarding. A nightmare that touches millions. It threatens health. It destroys livelihoods. Good evening, I’m David Muir. Welcome to a very special edition of Hoarders. Tonight we’ll investigate wealth hoarders—those individu... More »
by Christine Stevens 1 And the Lord God looked upon the First Woman as she came of an age when the skin becomes as a desert and the daily use of a good moisturizer becomes as a Commandment and He said unto her “Thou shalt swab thy self with unguents so that ... More »
Jonathan Zimmerman University of Pennsylvania “When Jesus was falsely accused of treason, Pontius Pilate gave Jesus the opportunity to face his accusers. During that sham trial, Pontius Pilate afforded more rights to Jesus than Democrats afforded this pre... More »
I very much appreciate the slightly warm welcome and I realize that, by now, many of you are aware that I am not the Dr. C Miller you expected. You thought you were getting the esteemed social scientist with his own TV show (second in popularity only to Dr. Oz... More »