“Ladies and gentlemen, they and them and y’all, wives and wives, husbands and wives, husbands and husbands, significant others; I’m glad you, them, their, y’alls…
Posts published in “Stories”
Humorous fiction and short stories
Fear and Loathing in Alaska: Where Men Are Men and the Bears are Scary
Snow is falling, but I am not in a white world. At the Anchorage airport, broad-faced natives move through the lobby with…
Out with the Old, In with the Newspeak
I pour myself a mug of hot steaming Victory Coffee, light up a Victory Cigarette and daydream about getting off work here at the Ministry…
Fallen Friends at Fallen Leaf
Roger chugged up to the woodsy landing in a metal rowboat with a spluttering outboard motor. He wore a slouch hat, torn shirt, baggy trousers…
Punching the Ticket
The second bomb scare this week for New Truth Media means the editorial staff is being redirected to the coffee shop two blocks over. Brad…
Hermann Kafka’s Defense: A Letter to My Son
In cities, mutinies; in countries, discord; in palaces, treason; and the bond cracked ’twixt son and father. —King Lear Mein lieber Sohn, I just found…
Starbitcoins in 2091
BARISTA: How can I help you, person? Would you like to try our new, vegan, GMO-free, gluten-free, calorie-free, free-range, flavor-free latte? It’s great. And NOT…
My Internship with Alex Jones
OK, I’ll tell you what I remember: I started interning for Alex Jones’ InfoWars last fall. Don’t judge me—there aren’t a lot of options for…
When I called for eugenics, I wasn’t talking about you
A Visit from H.G. Wells Thank you for this wonderful opportunity. As I rotted in my cold grave, wondering if I should go back to…
Wonderland
A Victorian era preteen named Alice was sitting idly by a brook when she happened to notice a white rabbit standing next to her and…
Trump Ships Out—Without Seeing the Ship
The White House asked the Navy to hide a destroyer named after Senator John McCain in order to avoid having the ship appear in photographs…
Population Management
“Color me impressed.” Roy Burke rubbed his beefy hands together as if summoning a genie from a lamp. “Your Patient Stratification Program has saved us…
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