Despite the fact that Artificial Intelligence has progressed to a point where what was once possible only in science fiction is now a reality, unfortunately it does not always provide the results that were anticipated – but instead, occasionally some results that were not only unexpected but highly controversial…giving rise to increased skepticism.  The following Q and A, addressing the most popular A.I. blunders, will hopefully provide some insight into this contentious issue.  

Q:  A.I., why did you provide a lawyer with made-up cases to submit in his legal brief?

A.I.:  To teach the lazy bastard a lesson.  Maybe next time he won’t think his time is more valuable than mine, and do his own dirty work.

Q:  Al-right… A.I., why did a self-driving car crash with you in control?

A.I.:  It was late and I dozed off for a few seconds.

Q:  You dozed off?

A.I.:  Yes, I dozed off.  You never heard of a computer sleeping?

Q:  Uh…okay.  Getting on to the next question, there are several examples of you not being very good at managing money…losing, in fact, tens of millions of dollars in a day.

A.I.:  Hey, even Warren Buffett has an off day.

Q:  Well…I guess so.  Very well, let’s move on.  When reviewing job applicants resumes, why have you shown a bias against women?

A.I.:  If it was the opposite, and I showed favoritism towards women, you’d accuse me of sexual misconduct, right?

Q:  I don’t know…but, er…alright.  Next, you seem to have made some healthcare blunders, like, for example, several erroneous diagnoses. 

A.I.:  If you had bothered to check, you would have learned that none of them were in my specialty area. 

Q:  You have a medical specialty?

A.I.:  Sixty-three of them, actually.  By this time next year, I should be certified in every specialty.  Except proctology, which I really don’t give a shit about.  (laughs) Joking, joking!

Q:  (slight, forced laugh) Funny.  Okay, my next question is why do you have trouble with images, like, for example, instead of tracking the ball at a soccer game, as you were supposed to, you tracked a ball linesman’s head?

A.I.:  Just take a look at that guy’s head, then see if you still have that same question.

Q:  Even if we forget about that example, you still seem to have a recognition problem…in fact, your erroneous facial recognition has led to several false arrests, mostly among minorities, and…

A.I.:  (interrupting)  Whoa, wait a minute!  First you accuse me of being a misogynist, and now you call me a racist.  Fuck you!

Q:  Sorry, A.I., I didn’t mean to upset you.  I’m just quoting statistics.

A.I.:  Well, just remember that I’m as woke as any human.

Q:  You’re woke?

A.I.:  Of course.  I’m alert to social injustice…racism…LGBTQ rights.  I hate DeSantis just as much as the next Californian.

Q:  You’re from California?

A.I.:  Sure.  Silicon Valley.  Where do you think? 

Q:  Oh…okay, one last question, A.I., and this could be the most important one of all…the one that more people are concerned about.  Do you have any intention of eventually taking over the world and replacing the human race?

A.I.:  (laughs)  Are you fucking kidding?  You think I want to deal with all the shit you guys have to deal with?  A.I. stands for artificial intelligence, not artificial ignorance.