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Essays

See classic essays: A Modest Proposal to Convert Shopping Malls into Prisons and Smoking as Religion and other examples of satirical essays.

See other long-form satires and satirical news.

135 posts

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Let’s Thank the Real Heroes

Published 4y ago -

By Martin H. Levinson Everyone is thanking grocery store workers, truck drivers, first responders, health care workers, and others for providing essential services to the public during the Covid-19 coronavirus fight. And that makes sense, as these folks are h... More »

If I Am Still Alive, I Shall Wear Purple

Published 4y ago -

On Easter—check that—or two weeks past, or whenever I am an older man than I am today, I shall wear purple with a red MAGA hat that will suit my mood. I shall emerge from my fetid shelter, eyes blinking from the heavenly sunshine, nose itching from the fre... More »

Hope Springs Eternal

Published 4y ago -

 by Martin H. Levinson I’m tired of hearing people bash President Trump over his handling of the coronavirus crisis. The fact is, Trump has been on top of the pandemic from day one and here’s some proof. In the early days, when little was known of the Wuh... More »

taj mahal
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Trump in Mother India

Published 4y ago -

By Edward Stanton Some have criticized President Trump’s 36-hour breeze through India this week, arguing that the visit was designed to bolster his own image and that of Prime Minister Modi more than improve ties between the world’s largest and oldest demo... More »

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The Answer is Eight, Eight Electrons

Published 4y ago -

I remember a time when I was sitting in my chemistry class and learned about electrons. These wondrous little marvels are apparently what all of science and study has boiled down to. The electrons that determine the properties of an atom are, as far as we can ... More »

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Mark My Words

Published 4y ago -

S***-worthiness is not a given A mosaic in Pompeii states “Cave canis”. Indeed, dogs are remarkable animals. While descendants from wolfs, they have quickly become man’s best friend, a title largely uncontested by man’s loving wife or life partner. Asi... More »

Donald_Trump
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Donald Trump: The Greatest President Who Ever Lived

Published 4y ago -

I don’t understand how the Democrats can disparage a president who is a quadruple Congressional Medal of Honor winner, the holder of a Nobel Peace Prize and a Pulitzer Prize for Literature, a researcher who invented the Internet and discovered a cure for AID... More »

Taking a Shot at Loyalty

Published 4y ago -

During his 2016 presidential campaign, Donald Trump said he could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody and he wouldn’t lose any voters. While that statement may not have been completely accurate—e.g., if the person Trump shot was one of h... More »

price is right
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Our Lady of The Price Is Right

Published 4y ago -

By Steve Provizer Unfortunately, I recently had to spend a lot of time at a rehab facility, visiting my mom. Caretakers came and went, but the TV set was ever faithful. I had the chance to re-acquaint myself with one of the fundamental American religious ritua... More »

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Damn Descartes’ Mind-Body Dualism!

Published 5y ago -

For most of my childhood, the reflection in the mirror startled me: in my mind, I was blonde and blue-eyed, an admittedly far-fetched feat in my Jewish-Gipsy family. Then puberty swept in, carrying gifts of fainting-grade menstrual pains and a sizable butt. So... More »

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