DENSA

By Martin H. Levinson

Most people are familiar with MENSA, the largest and oldest high-IQ society in the world, open to people who score at the 98^th percentile of a standardized intelligence test. What is far less known is DENSA, another group based on smarts but in this case involving individuals who have demonstrated they are among the least intelligent people on the planet. I recently came across a DENSA membership list and, as a political news junkie with a particular interest in news about American presidents who have been indicted for crimes, I was intrigued by these names and groups that were on it.

The Proud Boys

Members of this group stormed the Capitol on January 6, 2021, thinking they could stop the certification of Joe Biden as President of the United States. To make sure everyone knew what they were doing they were conspicuous in their actions, which were videorecorded by lots of people in the crowd and uploaded to social media in real time. Such visuals proved invaluable at their trials for sedition, conspiracy, breaking and entering, and sundry other crimes. They also texted and took selfies of the havoc they were causing. The Proud Boys are clearly not rocket scientists. They are one better. They are rocket idiots and honorable members of DENSA, a group tailor made for imbecile insurrectionists and out-of-touch morons.

Rudy Giuliani

When the World Trade Center was attacked on September 11, 2001, New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani inspired the citizens of the Big Apple and the rest of the nation to not despair but to move forward from the tragedy. What a difference a couple of decades, an admission of false charges against two Black Georgia election workers, hair-dye running down his face during a news conference, and 13 felony counts in a Georgia RICO case, make. From “America’s Mayor,” and a federal prosecutor who sent a congressman to prison and locked up mobsters and indicted white-collar criminals, to a pathetic human punchline heading for disbarment in Washington, DC and a long jail sentence. Rudy, who is frequently bitter and spiteful when handed a mic, is the epitome of a DENSA dumbkopf and given his pasty complexion and perpetual scowl would make the perfect poster child for the society.

Misty Hampton

There are also women DENSA members. Exhibit A: Misty Hampton, a Coffee County, Georgia elections supervisor who has been indicted in Georgia for helping Trump supporters, after the 2020 presidential election, access the county’s voting equipment. This turned out to be a bad move, as Misty is currently facing seven felony charges for her shenanigans. What was she thinking one might ask? I suspect she was thinking this would make a great story at a DENSA convention, one that could also be put into a book salable from prison. For the last seven years, in her nonpolitical life, Misty has shown her kinder side as a cat behavior specialist. Had she focused more on the felines and less on the felons associated with the Georgia RICO case she might not have conspired to engage in criminal acts with a bunch of Republican stooges. But if she had done that she would have jeopardized her DENSA bona fides, and what is more important, being someone who helps animals to live better lives, or a proud member of an organization that represents the crème de la crème of the cerebrally challenged who bask and revel in the glorious values of idiocy, crassness, and ineptitude.

Kevin McCarthy

Kevin McCarthy, the first Speaker of the House of Representatives to be ousted from his job, showed his DENSA chops nine months before he was canned when he struck a deal that any member of the House could force a vote to remove him. That made “My Kevin” (a name Trump gave McCarthy for acting as his political shield) subject to the whim of eight looney-tune MAGA Republicans who left McCarthy twisting in the wind on whether they would try to humiliate him by asking for a vote on removal each time he proposed something they didn’t like. Bless his spineless soul, he tried everything he could to placate his Manichean foes but despite being a jellyfish willing to say anything to keep his job, McCarthy could not keep Matt Gaetz and his merry band of far-right wingnuts from rendering him a failed, gelatinous joke. That he was so obviously going to go down and did not see it or chose to ignore the clear and present danger to keeping his speakership is beyond DENSA worthy. It is super-DENSA worthy and if there was a super-DENSA society “My Kevin” would be an absolute lock to get in.