Mollie Fermaglich
Writer

Mollie Fermaglich

Show BioHide BioMollie Fermaglich is a satirical essayist who has written for Glamour, New York Times, London Times, Mademoiselle, Village Voice, King Features Syndicate and several other magazines and newspapers. She is the author of Mollie's Rules for the Socially Inept, and two blogs, www.molliesrulesforyou.com and her political satire column for The Times of Israel.

14 posts

Joe Biden
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Joe Biden Is a Liar (We Didn’t Start the Fire)

Published 5m ago -

Joe Biden Is a Liar (We Didn’t Start the Fire) By Mollie Fermaglich He may be 80 years old, he may shake hands with the air. So what if he asked a paraplegic to stand up, who cares if he thinks Vermont is New Hampshire, Iowa for Ohio, and who thinks the Unit... More »

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Elon Musk – Will You Marry Me?

Published 2y ago -

By Mollie Fermaglich Dear Elon, I know I’m much too old for you. I won’t get on a plane, let alone the SpaceX Rocket, and my taste in baby names leans more toward Michael and John, Elizabeth and Jane than X AE A-Xii, which sort of reminds me of algebra, wh... More »

chrissy-teigen
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Baby, You’ve Got A Big Mouth

Published 3y ago -

By Mollie Fermaglich John Legend re-wrote, (without being asked), the classic song, “Baby, It’s Cold Outside, because, apparently, the world needed a “woke” version of this Academy Award-winning song by Frank Loesser, also composer and lyricist of such... More »

Joe Biden
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It Takes a Village Idiot

Published 3y ago -

By Mollie Fermaglich I sit in a spacious room, eagerly awaiting Democratic Presidential nominee Joe Biden. Okay – it’s not really a room but a finished basement, stocked with enough canned goods and bottled water to have sustained both the French and the G... More »

pelosi
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Are You There, God? It’s Me, Nancy

Published 4y ago -

by Mollie Fermaglich Dear God, It’s me.  Nancy.  Pelosi.  I am in church right now, on my knees, in a pew reserved for luminaries.  Like me. Nancy.  I’m not a fan of kneeling because, despite what they say, even the very top-of-the-line Wolford pantyh... More »

the squad
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The Squad’s Greatest Hits

Published 4y ago -

Curated By Mollie Fermaglich JUST WHEN YOU’D HOPED THEY’D GO AWAY FOREVER –THEY’RE BACK, WITH THEIR NEW ALBUM, FEATURING SOME OF THEIR GREATEST HITS! IT’S THE SQUAD!  THAT’S RIGHT – ILHAN, AOC, RASHIDA AND AYANA PRESSLEY, HAVE STOPPED BITCHING A... More »

Joe Biden
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Candidates Anonymous

Published 4y ago -

CANDIDATES ANONYMOUS (a short screenplay about a very long campaign) By Mollie Fermaglich FADE IN: INT. – Basement of a Washington D.C. church – Evening Modest, poorly lit large space.  A tall coffee urn sits on a long aluminum table on one side of th... More »

AOC
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The Lost Diary of…Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

Published 5y ago -

Discovered by Mollie Fermaglich   Dear Diary, Hi!  I’m Alexandria!  What’s your name?  Oh, that’s right.  You’re my diary and I have to name you.  My favorite names are Alexandria, Fidelita and Hannah Montana.  I could call you “Kitty,” ... More »

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Bernie’s 2020 Campaign Song

Published 5y ago -

Bernie, Bernie, Bernie.  Like plaque psoriasis, you’re back.  While others your age have settled comfortably into a 55+ retirement community with all sorts of amenities, you remain active as a United States Senator which, I’m guess, is even better, with ... More »

hillary
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Hillary’s Way (sung to the tune of “My Way”)

Published 8y ago -

Like most presidential wannabes, Hillary will need a campaign song. JFK had “High Hopes, “ FDR, “Happy Days Are Here Again,” But, sadly, her handlers have their hands full deflecting, avoiding and denying, so they might not have time for composing. Fol... More »

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