Trump: J6ers Should Never Be Audited by IRS

By Dan Geddes

Washington – President Donald Trump today announced his new executive order decreeing that documented January 6 protesters would also be immune from IRS audits for life.

Speaking in the Rose Garden, Trump said: “Building on my recent genius settlement with the IRS, where as you know means that my family and I will never be audited—for life—I propose the same settlement for the J6 freedom fighters.  People should not be politically persecuted!”

“People who have been politically persecuted—like myself—should also enjoy immunity from further government intervention in their lives—via the “J6 equals no IRS” Executive Order to protect the J6 protesters who came to Washington to protest the theft of our democracy by sleepy Joe Biden, AKA the auto pen, from further government harassment.”

“It’s called a legal precedent because they’ve already done it for me. So it’s been done before. Some people didn’t like it. As you know. That’s too bad.”

“We can now extend the same principle to other people who have been politically prosecuted. Obviously no one in history has ever been persecuted as much as me and my family, but the J6 protesters deserve some relief for their suffering.”

Many were angered by the decision.

“It’s like it’s a tax on everybody who didn’t go to the J6 protest,” said Senator Elizabeth Warren.

“How can they even know for sure exactly who was there?” asked Kamala Harris.

Trump responded later on TruthSocial: “Palantir knows everybody who’s been at the protest so everyone has been positively identified. We’ve already—today— had  cases of people coming forward claiming they were at the J6 protest—when they were not— just for the audit immunity. Can you believe some people?”

“Anyway, that J6 Viking Hat guy, I’m sure he’s going to get immunity. Everybody knows he was there. No one can deny it. He sat on Pelosi‘s desk.”

Trump continued: “Crooked Nancy Pelosi: most corrupt inside trader ever. Earns $200,000 a year and turns it into 100 million dollars. How is it possible?”

Trump concluded: “Some people think they’re above the law. It’s just amazing. Can you believe it?”