Let Them Eat, “Like,” Cake

by Martin H. Levinson

History’s greatest orators were tragic victims of eras bound by rigid vocabulary, totally missing out on the profound emotional nuance that only the word “like” can provide. Consider the conversational intimacy of Julius Caesar announcing to the Roman Senate, “I came, I saw, I ‘like’ conquered.” Abraham Lincoln could have softened the crushing weight of civil war by gently assuring the crowd at Gettysburg that “a government of the people, by the people, and for the people should, “like,” not perish from the earth.” Neil Armstrong missed the ultimate cultural vibe check on the moon; by not saying “one small step for man, one, ‘like,’ giant leap for mankind.”

Not having the word “like” in their oratory caused historical figures to sound aggressively absolute, which has left their legacies feeling badly out of step with modern times. To show what they should have said to be still thought of as great, I have added the work “like” to some of their statements—and to the statements of a few other culturally well-known figures—in the examples that follow. I hope you will, “like,” find them of interest.

• Let them eat, “like,” cake. (Marie Antoinette)
• Frankly my dear, I don’t “like” give a damn. (Rhett Butler—character)
• Give me liberty or “like” give me death. (Patrick Henry)
• To thine own self, be “like” true. (William Shakespeare)
• May the Force be “like” with you. (Star Wars)
• Eighty percent of success is “like” showing up. (Woody Allen)
• I’ll be “like” back. (Terminator)
• Go ahead, “like” make my day. (Harry Callahan—character)
• I’m gonna “like” make him an offer he can’t “like” refuse. (Vito Corleone—character)
• You “like” talkin’ to me. (Travis Bickle—character)
• Let my people, “like,” go. (Moses)
• Ask not what your country can “like” do for you; ask what you can “like” do for your country. (John F. Kennedy)
• I think, “like” therefore I am. (René Descartes)
• If you are “like” going through hell, keep “like” going. (Winston Churchill)
• Knowledge is “like” power. (Sir Francis Bacon)
• United we “like” stand, divided we “like” fall. (Aesop)
• What we’ve got here is “like” a failure to communicate. Some men you “like” just can’t reach. (the Captain—character)
• To err is “like” human, to forgive “like” divine. (Alexander Pope)
• I have “like” a dream that my four little children will “like” one day live in a nation where they will not “like” be judged by the color of their skin but “like” by the content of their character. (Martin Luther King)
• What doesn’t “like” kill us makes us “like” stronger. (Friedrich Nietzsche)
• The only thing we have to fear is, “like,” fear itself. (Franklin Roosevelt)