Donald J. Trump: Hallowed Be Thy Name

By Martin H. Levinson

The Board of Trustees for the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts voted on Thursday, December 18, 2025, to rename the institution the “Trump-Kennedy Center,” adding President Donald Trump’s name to the iconic performing arts venue, a move that sparked immediate controversy and legal questions, though Congress must approve name changes. (Associated Press Report)

Affixing Donald Trump’s name to the Kennedy Center is a good start to honoring the hottest, handsomest, and most honest president in the history of the Republic. But more could be done in this area. To wit:

The Trump-Lincoln Memorial

The Lincoln Memorial commemorates the 16th U.S. President, Abraham Lincoln, and his role in preserving the Union and freeing enslaved people. That’s fine as far as it goes, but Lincoln isn’t the only president who has worked to maintain the Union. Donald J. Trump labors night and day to keep our country from falling apart, dispatching troops to American cities, sinking boats off Venezuela, and attacking the libs. As to freeing enslaved people, Trump has freed oppressed and downtrodden billionaires from the confines of paying U.S. taxes, freed American haters and bigots from the necessity of behaving in a civilized manner, and freed himself from having to justify anything he wants to do.

Trump, like Lincoln, believes in being kind to others and harboring no ill-will. His benevolent nature can be summed up thusly: “With malice toward all, with charity for none.” The Trump-Lincoln Memorial has a nice ring to it and from the standpoint of politics the rename is right on target.

The Trump-Washington Monument

The Washington Monument is a towering marble obelisk on the National Mall that was built to honor America’s first President, George Washington—a man popularly known as “the father of his country.” Well move over pops, there’s a new pater in town who is making America great again, even greater than it was when Washington stepped into the Oval. That papa is Donald J. Trump, who like G.W. has never told a lie or chopped down anything larger than the East Wing of the White House. George Washington was all the rage in the 18th century but the Enlightenment and critical thinking has come and gone. It’s time to honor fresh blood (and soil). The Trump-Washington Monument: a signifier that’s fair and balanced.

Trump-Reagan National Airport

Washington National Airport was rechristened Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport in 1998 by Congress to honor the “Great Communicator” for his significant impact on American history and politics. More than 25 years later the moment seems right to celebrate the “Greatest Communicator,” a fellow who has had way more impact than Reagan on American history and politics, by appending Trump’s name to Ronald Reagan National Airport.

In his two terms in office, Reagan shipped arms to Iran and brought down the Soviet Union, a tottering empire on the brink of extinction. Trump, in less than two terms, has stripped arms from Iran and is on the verge of bringing down the United States of America, a far more powerful entity than the Soviet Union ever was. DC used to be a company town with the federal government its dominant employer. Under Donald Trump it has become a family town, with Trump and his family dispensing jobs. What better way to honor this paterfamilias, this force of nature who is running the U.S. government as if it was his own personal business, than by naming all government owned buildings, landmarks, and institutions after him. Trump-Reagan National Airport: a rebrand to be proud of.

Trump-Washington, DC

Washington, DC was named Washington in honor of the first U.S. President, George Washington, while the surrounding federal territory was called the District of Columbia, to acknowledge it is a federal district and to honor Christopher Columbus with the poetic title “Columbia.” We live in transformative times and the nomenclature of our nation’s capital needs to get with the program, which is to Make America Great Again. One way to do that is by adding “Trump” to the District’s name, and substituting “Crypto” for “Columbia.” We’re so lucky to be around in an era where tradition can be instantly done away with and customary practices swiftly trashed to make way for the new. Hail to the Thief! (I mean, “Hail to the Chief!”)