America's Most Critical Journal since 1999
This Morning I Impeached My Dog By Martin H. Levinson This morning, I impeached my dog for repeatedly violating rules I had set up regarding household border security, most egregiously for not barking when people rang my doorbell. Buddy’s refusal to obey my ... More »
That Time in 2019 I Dog-Sat for Sam Bankman-Fried By Karen Rizzo A Note From: SBF To: Dog Sitter Rizzo Hello, Ms. Rizzo. Welcome to my home. I am not sorry that an important prior commitment prevented me from greeting you in person on your first day dog... More »
By Brian Huba Our rescue dog is a Donald Trump supporter. My wife and I adopted him in April of 2021 from a local foster. I found him on Facebook. I wasn’t in the market for a dog. I hadn’t clicked on any pet-related posts, so I have no clue what faulty al... More »
S***-worthiness is not a given A mosaic in Pompeii states “Cave canis”. Indeed, dogs are remarkable animals. While descendants from wolfs, they have quickly become man’s best friend, a title largely uncontested by man’s loving wife or life partner. Asi... More »
“Color me impressed.” Roy Burke rubbed his beefy hands together as if summoning a genie from a lamp. “Your Patient Stratification Program has saved us millions.” Mara O’Leary stood in the vestibule of Skylands Hospital with the Chairman of the Board;... More »
By William Craig Rice Since you won’t have me as your man, Imagine I’m a dog Who’s always gaga to see you And get taken for a jog. I’m accustomed to the leash you snap, No longer tug or chew. Obedience-training was brutal, But forged my love for you. T... More »