America's Most Critical Journal since 1999
Silent Night, Holy Night Sona Lea Dombourian I have changed my foreign ways and am reborn. Imbued with the Spirit, I will go West and expand my dominion over all creatures, puny despite their efforts, sub-intelligent because of their origins. But a thorn persi... More »
Yesterday I had lunch with the American people. I had wanted to speak with them for the longest time, as they are a prominent group of individuals often mentioned by politicians on TV news programs. I met the people at a diner near where I live. I order... More »
by Natalie Harris-Spencer Your waiter or waitress is now your “server,” a squirmy word for you that’s uncomfortably close to servant. Starters are “apps.” Mains are “entrées.” Puddings are “desserts.” Brunch is a long, drunk-in-the-daytime a... More »
by Boaz Dvir You may have heard—although, if you live north of the Mason-Dixon line, hardly noticed—that states have reopened many of their businesses, including frat houses, prisons, and stores deemed not-in-the-least-bit essential due to lack of billion-... More »
This wild and whacky dish has taken the country and political foodies throughout world by storm. May be paired with wine, beer, or antidepressants. Best prepared before November 2020, as the recipe may change after that date. Ingredients: 2 billion spoonfuls o... More »
By Martin H. Levinson 9 April 2017 The Field Guide to People of the USA is the most up-to-date resource for identifying Homo sapiens living in the United States of America. From the Lame-Brained Politico to the Loose-Lipped Rumormonger to the Bigmouth Yenta, t... More »
By Dan Geddes CLEVELAND – An unemployed man in Cleveland, Ohio believes that the US government’s vast overseas empire and interventionist foreign policy benefit him personally. John Bauer, 59, of Cleveland hosts a weekly 30 minute public access TV show “... More »
By Connolly Ryan Eerily guardless at this ungodly hour, the palace seems pale and lost as a human baby in a fake jungle. Now bust into it and dismantle whatever’s left of its moral clarity. The air is pungent with gastrointestinal spices: a proboscis meets h... More »