Maybe it’s just me.

But I can’t stand those teeny-weeny warnings (which anyone, even with 20/20 vision, would need a magnifier to read) on the labels of most pharmacy nonprescription health aids.  Including, for some bizarre sadistic reason, eye drops – which I believe are, ostensibly, for people with vision problems.

And how about that tiny keyboard on the iPhone?  How anyone with normal size fingers can type with their two thumbs is beyond me.  When I try it, How are you comes out looking like Yow adw hoi (and once, You are hot, which fortunately I read before almost hitting Send). 

Then there are those clasps on women’s jewelry that seem to be made for Lilliputians.  (The costlier, it appears, the tinier.)  At least twice a week my wife asks for my assistance securing the minuscule catch on either a necklace (where, to make matters more difficult, she can’t see what she’s doing) or a bracelet (which, obviously, she would have to negotiate one-handed).  Even though I can see what I’m doing and can use both my hands, nevertheless the frustratingly arduous process never fails to cause me to sweat profusely…and swear prolifically.

Also, the microscopic type on some of those film supers has me hopping out of my sofa and rushing over to the TV screen to read them.  Usually fading off by the time I get there.  Leaving me wondering how long the guy went to prison for.

And when was the last time you squeezed into one of today’s tiny airplane bathrooms, which have shrunken to the point where, to now become a member of the mile-high club, masturbation would have to be accepted as an admittance criterion.

Oh yeah, how much do you hate those little little ants that, no matter how many times you seal your kitchen window, always seem to appear on your counter?  They mysteriously find a way to get in, torture you for a while, surviving any extermination method you employ, then just as mysteriously disappear, seeming to say “Alright, this poor schmuck has had enough, let’s leave him be…for a while.”

And speaking of bugs, let’s not forget the most diabolical ones of all.  Also the tiniest.  Invisible to the naked eye.  Only able to be seen under a microscope (thank heavens).  That’s right, bacterial microbes.  They were the first life forms on earth and seem to want to constantly remind us of their primacy – finding all sorts of ways to invade our bodies and weaken us to a point where we have to admit, “Alright, I give up, you’re stronger than I am…I need antibiotics to fight you.”  I hate those little superior-attitude fuckers more than anything.

Last (for this writing, anyway), but, as the cliché goes, “…not least,” are those barely-big-enough-for-one tables-for-two at today’s trendy restaurants (the trendier, the teensier).  And the only reason they can accommodate (uncomfortably) a dinner for two is because the “trendy” food portions are barely visible.  

But, like I said, maybe it’s just me.  (Er…you too, maybe?)