New Federal Holidays for the 21st Century
By Martin H. Levinson
Jan. 6: Patriots Day
Patriots Day honors the heroic men and women who fearlessly assaulted the US Capitol on January 6, 2021 in a righteous coup attempt to reverse a rigged election and restore Donald Trump to the US presidency. Five brave people died in that daring bid, 140 misguided police officers were injured, and hundreds were convicted on phony allegations by liberal prosecutors who had it in for Trump. Following his inauguration day, #47 pardoned the freedom fighters of all charges, an act of tremendous courage, as the AP reported only 2 in 10 Americans approved such forgiveness. Some may not support the idea for this holiday but by any normal standard of immorality it’s the Right’s thing to do.
June 14: Trump’s Birthday and Flag Day
On February 14, 2025, Congresswoman Claudia Tenney (NY-24) introduced the Trump’s Birthday and Flag Day Holiday Establishment Act to officially designate June 14 as a federal holiday to commemorate President Donald Trump’s Birthday and Flag Day. That Act, which in a sane world would be passed by acclamation, pays homage to the birth of the greatest president in the past, present, and future history of the United States and also to the American flag, which should be updated with Trump’s face in the foreground.
Donald J. Trump, a man who rose from modest millionaire means, is the embodiment of the reality-denial hogwash that has made this nation great. He took a country in the midst of a cataclysmic economic depression and overflowing with Mexican rapists, murderers, and nutjobs and turned it into the number one place on the planet—check out YouTube interviews of JD Vance, Mike Johnson, and Laura Loomer to verify. Sadly, the US won’t stay number one unless Trump can run in 2028 and regardless of the election results is proclaimed president.
July 5: Autocracy Day
On July 4th the nation celebrates the adoption of the Declaration of Independence by the Continental Congress in 1776 and the freedom and liberty it espoused. A holiday on July 5th celebrating autocracy would be the perfect yin to the yang of July 4th, as the United States is fast moving away from freedom and liberty toward fascism, a form of government that has long been given a bad rap—FYI Italian dictator Benito Mussolini (who coined the term fascism) made the trains run on time, revived the non-woke idea that violence is the path to manhood, and satisfied the longings of people who wanted to be ruled by a drama queen.
Washington, Lincoln, and FDR were great leaders but they were hamstrung by the Constitution. Imagine how much more they could have accomplished if there was no Constitution, something Donald Trump works hard at eliminating each day through executive orders, feigned ignorance, and creating an administration with no desire to follow the rule of law. “Hail to the Thief!,” I mean, “Hail to Chief!,” a super slogan for a super holiday that praises everything America used to be against.
Fourth Friday in November: Tax Cuts for Billionaires Day
Every year, on the fourth Thursday in November, our nation celebrates Thanksgiving, a day that revolves around giving thanks and getting together with family and friends for dinner. How about having another holiday after Thanksgiving to offer a specific form of gratitude, namely tax cuts for American billionaires. While it’s true billionaires in the US pay a smaller tax rate than most in the middle class, thanks to a tax code that favors income from wealth over income from work—and a slew of tax-avoidance strategies—that’s no reason to not honor the uber-wealthy, a group that creates tons of jobs in the yacht-building industry, palatial-estates construction, and private island realty. Do we want to be like Finland, which has strong welfare programs, been ranked on the World Happiness Report (WHR) for eight years running as the happiest country in the world, and has hardly any billionaires? Or do want to be America where it’s everyone for themselves, happiness clocks in at #24 on the WHR, and billionaires rule the roost? It’s a no brainer. Show us the money, the more the merrier, and let’s continue to venerate outsized wealth.
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