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The Satirist

Winning is the Only Thing

By Martin H. Levinson on September 2, 2018

I like to start each day with a victory. So this morning, before I left for the office, I beat my wife to the bathroom…

White Supremacy for Liberals

By Elaine Kendall on August 22, 2018

What can be about 6 feet tall, weigh more than a Honda sedan and turn up in the news for a month or more?  (Hint).…

Help Make Grocery Shopping Worse!

By Donald N.S. Unger on August 18, 2018

Your application to join the elite team of customers who make going to the supermarket a most special kind of Hell has been received (for…

And Then They Came for My Liver

By Sari Friedman on July 30, 2018

“Immerse!” I order.

You have two Rita Immersions remaining,” replies my console.

“I know.”

“Your Netflix Immersion Service is at risk of interruption if you don’t make a payment today. If you’ve already paid to renew, this notification may be ignored.”

Twisty sensation inside me. Scrim of sweat on my skin.

“I just want to immerse.”

“Into which series?”

“Rita.”

Unpleasant prickling from the needle tips. Creepiness from the dampening sensi-pads. Then my awareness drifts from my dust-laden breathing mask and all the rest of it.

“Before you’re fully immersed I must remind you that your Netflix Service is at risk of interruption if you don’t make a payment today. If you have already paid to renew, this notification may be ignored. Your inbox also contains bills for water, air, electricity, health maintenance and rent on the space your body will occupy if you remain in Warehouse 23CX459 for another month.”



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