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The Satirist

LeBron: The Humble Goat

  Being the G.O.A.T. doesn’t mean LeBron (me) can’t pretend to be humble. Getting on with players, refs and the press while keeping my image…

The Grandparents’ Choice

Grandparents always ask their grandchildren the same questions, so why don’t their grandchildren have a quiz of their own for Grandma and Grandpa? After telling…

Sex, My Yelp Review

4 stars Let me start out by saying I wanted to give it 4½ stars but Yelp doesn’t allow that. I don’t think it merits…

A Curse Upon the Lords of Vax

Greetings, mortals, weaklings, and other forms of cowards and fools. It is I, Lady Hephiastus, Goddess of Smooth Stones. My mate is Chagleen the Mighty,…

Population Management

“Color me impressed.” Roy Burke rubbed his beefy hands together as if summoning a genie from a lamp. “Your Patient Stratification Program has saved us…

Guns for One, Guns for All

Gun control advocates think they’re slick when they quote statistics like more than 35,000 men, women, and children are killed each year by guns in…




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