“Give War a Chance”: Survey Proves Americans Want “More Exciting” Wars

Thursday, December 28th, 2017

Published 2 months ago -

“Give War a Chance”: Survey Proves Americans Want “More Exciting” Wars

By Dan Geddes

28 December 2017

MENLO PARK – A recent New York Times/Facebook survey found that a supermajority of Americans believe that America should be fighting bigger wars against ever more powerful enemies.

On the New York Times website as well as on Facebook, readers were asked to choose between the following foreign policy strategies:

  • America should fight bigger, more exciting wars against more powerful enemies, such as Russia, China, North Korea, and Syria, in any order.
  • I am satisfied with the current level of global warfare as well as America’s role in it.
  • Not sure
  • I don’t know.

The results showed:

  • A solid 64% of Americans preferred more exciting wars.
  • Only 20% of the people were satisfied with the current level of warfare.
  • 8% chose “Not sure.”
  • 8% chose “I don’t know.”

Facebook Pollster J.P. Overton concluded: “The American public knows that more and bigger wars would be a sensible, and popular policy, as this poll clearly shows.”

In a CNN roundtable discussion of the Overton poll results on Wolf Blitzer’s “The Objectivity Room,” three-star General Langley Turgidson (now a CNN consultant) stated: “The American people have spoken. And all we are saying is, ‘Give war a chance.’ What other options do we really have?”

Top economists have also demanded a major war in order to stimulate the U.S. economy, which is heavily geared toward defence.

Surveys such as these give President Trump the mandate he needs for more large-scale wars, which would also prove once and for all that Trump is not Putin’s puppet.


Dan Geddes is the editor of The Satirist. In addition to satire, Geddes’ serious criticism in The Satirist online has been widely cited in books, English courses, academic papers, newspapers, and websites. Geddes has written for the Cleveland Plain Dealer, the Dry Bones Review, and The Modern Word. His satirical work has also appeared in GlossyNews.com. He lives in Amsterdam.

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