America's Most Critical Journal since 1999
by Sarah Totton <The Council of Elrond contemplates the ring.> BOROMIR: There is evil there that does not sleep– FRODO: What, it doesn’t even take a nap? BOROMIR: No. FRODO: I could never get through the day without taking a nap. BOROM... More »
An Advice Column by Macbeth, King of Scotland, and Certified Life Coach by Corey Pajka Dear Macbeth, I’m in line for a major promotion at the multinational corporation where I work. It would mark a significant pay raise, but the person who had this ro... More »
700th Friendly Reminder Email Re: Letter of Recommendation by Giannina Lissa Garcés Ambrossi # To: ProfessorDoctorClementineEsq@Miami.edu From: e.gonzalez792@umiami.edu Subject: 700th Friendly Email Reminder Re: Letter of Recommendation # Dear Professo... More »
You Are in an Experiment! by David Sheskin You are in an experiment! For the duration of the experiment you cannot pass Go. You cannot collect $200. You are in an experiment! You signed a consent form and agreed to adhere to the guidelines outlined in the book... More »
If Cormac McCarthy wrote dialogue for “Emily in Paris” by Stephen J. Lyons Scene: Emily Cooper, dressed in a paisley micro mini-skirt, with mismatched suede boots, has pain au chocolat and café au lait with her BFF Mindy Chen outside the Café de... More »
It’s Gratuitous Expletive Season, Fornicators: Sheldon Cooper’s Barely Condescending, Refreshingly Wholesome Redemption of Decorative Gourds by Lisa Rosenberg I don’t know about you people, but if I had a nickel for every time the F-bomb drops in tho... More »
How to Get Your Loved One the Perfect Holiday Gift! by Chris Iovenko First, of course, you must get off your couch and put your shoes on. Then you have to locate your keys. 45 minutes later bathed in sweat from your increasingly frantic search, you are ready t... More »
Ah, the old holiday family gathering! Hugging each other. Exchanging loving pleasantries. Uh-oh, the new holiday family gathering! Glaring at each other. Exchanging hostile political barbs. This year, though, you made yourself a promise: you’re goi... More »
Imagine, if you will (and I realize this is a stretch, but indulge me) that online dating sites have been around for centuries…which, of course, would mean that computers have also been around that long (I said it was a stretch). Okay, now if that were the... More »
by Michael J. Mangano Since Ex-President Trump’s recent comment to Sean Hannity that he could declassify documents just “by thinking about it,” speculation has abounded that Trump had possibly joined the likes of Wolverine, Storm, Cyclops, and especiall... More »
By Brian Huba Our rescue dog is a Donald Trump supporter. My wife and I adopted him in April of 2021 from a local foster. I found him on Facebook. I wasn’t in the market for a dog. I hadn’t clicked on any pet-related posts, so I have no clue what faulty al... More »
By Mollie Fermaglich Dear Elon, I know I’m much too old for you. I won’t get on a plane, let alone the SpaceX Rocket, and my taste in baby names leans more toward Michael and John, Elizabeth and Jane than X AE A-Xii, which sort of reminds me of algebra, wh... More »