America's Most Critical Journal (since 1999)



Supreme Court Declares Bush President of Iraq by 5-4 Vote

By Dan Geddes

WASHINGTON—The US Supreme Court today ruled that President George W. Bush is the lawful President of Iraq. The Bush Administration had brought a lawsuit in January, 2001 (Bush vs. Hussein, US 03-1024) against Saddam Hussein for “usurping the role of dictator of the Iraqi people” from Bush’s father, George Herbert Walker Bush, the “rightful liberator of Iraq.”

Bush’s attorneys had concluded with the argument that “Iraq was part of the Axis of Evil. Therefore, it must be disarmed and liberated with overwhelming force.”

Arguing for the defense, attorney John Harcourt, 26, of Rockville, Maryland, argued in vain that the “United States Supreme Court does not have the right to select the governments of sovereign nations.”

Chief Justice Rehnquist’s deciding opinion brushed off Harcourt’s arguments, and also declared Bush the winner of the 2004 US Presidential Elections, and also reportedly included sweeping decisions on other issues. The Bush Administration classified these decisions on national security grounds.