This wild and whacky dish has taken the country and political foodies throughout world by storm. May be paired with wine, beer, or antidepressants. Best prepared before November 2020, as the recipe may change after that date.
Ingredients:
- 2 billion spoonfuls of “lock her up,” “Jews will not replace us,” and “send them back” blame and resentment
- Hefty dollops of censoring non-politically correct terms such as “mothering,” “fathering,” “black sheep,” and “American Indian”
- 5 conservative Supreme Court justices
- 4 members of the squad
- A hodgepodge of “covfefe,” “my nuclear button is bigger than yours,” and other outrageous presidential tweets
- A potpourri of nonstop breaking news with sound effects and musical accompaniment on cable
- Thousands of migrants living in overcrowded, squalid detention centers without their children who have been taken by ICE to god knows where
- A soupçon of Russian hackers sitting at their computers and screwing with US elections
- A pinch of foreign tariffs
- A hint of a recession
- An infinite cup of complaints from rednecks living in red states
- A likewise amount of grievances from snowflakes living in blue states
- Stacks of easily purchased guns
- Heaps of mass shootings
- A drizzle of racial rhetoric from Roseanne Barr, President Trump, and the Republican Party
- A bunch of corrupt cabinet officials and other government appointees
- A fricassee of fake news
Directions:
- Place all the ingredients in a large pot filled with a gazillion gallons of water from Flint Michigan spiced with domestic terrorist manifestos, threats of a new nuclear arms race with Russia, and massive student debt.
- Cover and heat till there’s a rise in global temperature and extreme weather events.
- When the pot is about to boil over, add a few drops of climate-change denial sweetened by lies from oil and coal company lobbyists.
- Salt to taste and fold in a desire to move to Canada.
Serves a nation of 325 million people that exist in tribes and have gone adrift from their moorings.