On a Favorite Hamster, Drowned in an Airport Toilet

by Jeffrey Meyers

The agent said “no rodents on the plane,
No comfort here, he must go home again.”
“I cannot wait, I have to catch this flight,
How could my darling Porky cause a fright?”
“What if we called the bomb disposal squad
To take the wretched creature and play God?

Or madam,” he then says, with added zeal,
“Take him outside and spear him with your heel.”
“Impossible, for it would make a mess.”
“But there’s a way that would not cause distress.”
He firmly pointed out, and she could see,
A doorway clearly marked W.C.

She thought, my slinking, timorous hamster
Must not die inside a dirty dumpster.
A harsh decision, mistress must be brave,
The toilet beckoned as his watery grave.
She set him down upon the slippery rim,
He wobbled as she looked away from him.

His sleek coat, nervous eyes and pointed ear,
His wispy whiskers and sharp claws showed fear.
The trembling beast gazed at the lake below
In wonder at its still translucent glow.
The shiny porcelain beguiled his feet,
She pushed him headlong, not without a squeak.

He tried emerging from the deadly flood,
Banged his soft head and trickled out thick blood.
Fate propelled him to the rush of waters,
Swirled him round directly to the sewers.

Inspired by Thomas Grey’s “On a Favourite Cat Drowned in a Tub of Goldfishes”