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US Unemployment Drops to 0%

By Dan Geddes on August 18, 2010

The Bureau of Labor Statistics reported today that the U.S. unemployment rate, which last quarter stood at 8.2%, has dropped to 0%.

The BLS explained that the US labor force has contracted by about 8.2% since the last quarter. “More Americans are choosing to spend time with their families, instead of looking for work,” explained BLS spokesman Johnny Divideus.

“Everyone who really really wants a job in America now has one,” proclaimed President Obama. “Those who don’t have a job must not want it badly enough.”

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Dan Geddes
Dan Geddes

Dan Geddes is the author of The Satirist: Volume 1 and the editor of the online journal The Satirist: America's Most Critical Journal, an astonishing collection of satires, reviews, reviews of imaginary works, fiction, essays, poems, and satirical news. Geddes' satire and serious criticism in The Satirist online has been widely cited in books, English courses, academic papers and journals, newspapers, and websites. Geddes has written for the Cleveland Plain Dealer, the Dry Bones Review, and The Modern Word. His satirical work has also appeared in GlossyNews.com. Geddes has also written several unpublished works, including a literary comic novel, a feature-length screenplay, and a collection of European travel stories. He lives in Amsterdam.

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