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Influencing at the End of the World

social media influencer

Photo by Ivan Samkov

by Kara Panzer

SadGirl7 – Post #453
The aliens are here. I’ve been reflecting in my journal this morning using my reflection prompts (have you tried them yet? download my free journal prompts here!). The strange disk shapes hovering in the sky have made a lot of people stop and pause and think. Is this really the extra-terrestrial invasion we were warned about last year? Will my ex-boyfriend finally text me back? Lately, I’ve been feeling strange. I think it’s loneliness, but I’m trying not to be upset about it. Two things can be true at once: earth is facing an alien invasion, and I’m finally learning to accept myself as I am. It’s okay to be lonely. It’s okay to double, triple or quintuple text. It’s okay that the future of planet earth may look different from what I expected. What do you think? Tell me in the comments below. 

 

SadGirl7 – Post #454
You can’t compare your reality to what other people post online. Yes, I call him my ex-boyfriend, but maybe that’s not the right term for someone I only went on a handful of dates with last fall. Maybe to him I’m just that weird girl who followed him from the bookstore to the cafe to say hi, who he later humored with some casual sex. There’s a strange beam of light shining down from the lowest disk in the sky like a spotlight, illuminating the whole park where we had sex that day. Odd. Obviously, if it was that bright then, I wouldn’t have done it there. The whole thing, when I think about it now, seems awkward and dirty. In the moment, it felt thrilling and illicit. This is the kind of thing journaling is good for. Don’t forget this week’s promotion! Buy a twenty prompt package and get five free. 

 

SadGirl7 – Post #455
You can say a lot of things about the aliens, but I have to give it to them for keeping their word. They said they’d be here in a year and voila, here they are. Like many of you, I’m not sure what they’re doing. Maybe they heard about how my ex-boyfriend didn’t keep his word and they’re here to help me find justice. It isn’t cool to say you’ll do something (take me out to a nice dinner like a real date) and then never do it. When I think about it, maybe didn’t say he would directly. The second time in the park, when I was brushing dirt off my knees and pulling my underwear back up, I said, “it’d be cool to go out together sometime. Like dinner or something?” And he sort of grunted. It wasn’t a yes but it wasn’t a no either, I know that much. Why does everyone assume the aliens are invading in a bad way? It’s like assuming I’m needy just cause I call a lot. We don’t always have to assume the worst about our fellow residents of the galaxy. The weird thing is now one of the ships is beaming a blue light down, slowly tracing a path from the park in the direction of my neighborhood. Anyway, if you like the shorts I’m wearing in this post-coital park selfie, you can use my discount code for free shipping. I can’t recommend them enough. They’re easy to remove and dirt doesn’t stick to them like the pair I wore the first time.

 

SadGirl7 – Post #456
Wow. That blew up. And yes, I did get some hate. People have been saying hurtful things like that 38 is too old to have sex with a random guy in the park. That doesn’t seem fair. Now there’s an age cut off on basic human experience? My detractors have also been accusing me of not taking the alien invasion seriously, but you guys are missing the point: they haven’t even attacked yet. Also, it’s not like I have a lot of skills that would be useful in an intergalactic battle. Anyway, I’m excited to share some news with you about a cool new company: inspired by the astronaut ice cream of her childhood, my friend Emily has launched a new brand. Spacesnax! She and her team feel pretty confident that you don’t want to get caught beamed up to space without some snacks in your pocket, so they created this line of freeze dried treats for you to enjoy on whatever planet or spacecraft you might get probed on. Don’t go to space without it. Use code: SadGirl7SNAX for 15% off at checkout.

 

SadGirl7 – Post #457
My ex-boyfriend still hasn’t texted. The blue beam inches closer to my house each day. I don’t feel much like writing today. I’m trying to give myself grace. Grace for still having hookups in the park with near strangers at age 38. Grace for being lonely sometimes. Free prompts here

 

SadGirl7 – Post #458
The beam is on my street and I know they’re going to take me, somehow. Maybe that odd feeling I had before wasn’t loneliness. It was the gravity of fate. Maybe two things aren’t true. Just one: this isn’t the planet for me. Prompts are paywalled now, but use the code: SadGirl7 for 10% off this week.

 

SadGirl7 – Post #459
The light has come to my doorstep. There’s nothing to do but fill my shorts pockets (link) with Spacesnax (link), and step into the light. I hope my haters can see that I’m willing to do my part with the skill set I have, as much as I can. Maybe my ex-boyfriend will regret how he treated me now. Maybe not. You can have 50% off prompts, my steepest discount ever. 

 

SadGirl7 – Post #460
I would’ve expected that last post to perform better. I stopped to check my analytics before stepping out into the beam of light. I’ve got Spacesnax in my shorts pocket and I’m ready. Maybe the aliens will take me, maybe not. And that’s okay too. 

 

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