From the MAGA Prayerbook 

By Martin H. Levinson

 

The Lord’s Prayer: Updated for the 21st Century

Our Donald, who art in DC,
Hallowed be thy Fame,
Thy crypto come,
Thy decrees be done,
On the southern border and
Anywhere else there are immigrants.
Give us this day our daily cred.
And forgive us for nothing,
As we have nothing to be forgiven for.
And lead us not into recession,
But deliver us from economic dispossession.
For thine is the power and the glory of
levying tariffs and stretching the truth
For ever and ever. Amen.

The Kool-Aid Serenity Prayer

God, grant me the serenity to
Accept all the lies and misinformation
That Donald Trump spews out daily,
The courage to not care how all this
duplicity plays out for the nation,
And the wisdom to love autocracy. 

Prayer to He Who Rules Heaven and Earth and Congress and the Courts  

#47, make me your instrument,
Where there is hatred, let me sow revulsion,
Where there is injury, grievance;
Where there is doubt, misgiving;
Where there is despair, desolation;
Where there is darkness, doom;
And where there is sadness; misery and deportations.

Prayer of Saint Kristi, Secretary-Goddess of Homeland Security 

Let nothing disturb you,
Let nothing weigh on your mind,
Because disappearances are here to stay;
Stephen Miller never changes,
Green cards are a waste of time,
Immigration law means nothing,
Put all your faith in God, but ICE
Will get you in the end.