Citing a recent Supreme Court decision, that affirmed presidential authority over immigration restrictions for purposes of national security, President Trump has proclaimed a ban on the entry of “bunnies” into the United States.
“I don’t want a bunny wunny in my widdle wow boat,” Trump tweeted at 2AM on Wednesday morning, apparently echoing Tom Paxton’s lyrics regarding a “bunny incident” that befell President Carter in the 1970s.
In an unprecedented appearance on Fox & Friends, Presidential Spokesperson Sarah Huckabee Sanders, looking a little uncharacteristically gaunt after a week of serial ejections from restaurants in the Greater DC Metro Area, pointed to Australia.
“They are fucking overrun with bunnies!” she declaimed, the expletive beeped out for broadcast but her lips making clear exactly what she had said.
“And let me tell you,” she added, looking a little wild-eyed—and hungry, “they may be fucking delicious—” she paused there, looking a little sad and lost for a moment, but then regained her focus, “—but you cannot ignore the danger of being overrun by bunnies.”
Asked to elaborate about the danger that bunnies posed, Huckabee Sanders hissed, “Voting! Once they’re here, the Democrats are going to register all of them to vote!”
As the program cut to commercial, she could be heard screaming, amidst a storm of epithets, “I’ll eat them all! I will! You just watch. No restaurants? I’ll solve the damn bunny problem on my own! No more voting fraud! No more voting fraud!”
Video evidence subsequently posted to Facebook notwithstanding, Fox characterized the accusation that the President’s spokesperson was “darted with an elephant-tranquilizing gun and carted back to the White House” as “Fake News.”