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Today's Youth Too Lazy to Protest War

25 April 2015

WASHINGTON - A recent study by Langley University has found that today's youth are "too lazy" to protest wars or economic injustice "in the foreseeable future."

"Unlike young people in the 1930s or the 1960s, today's youth are content to let war and economic inequalities persist and even worsen into the next generation. They just don't care," concluded Dr. Ian Dulles, the chief researcher of the study.

Dulles' study of 2,000 young people aged 18 to 29 found that "only 5% were willing to protest anything--no matter how unjust. And most of them are crazy."

"We were curious why there was relatively little dissent today compared to past generations. Our research shows that while the internet has allowed for the dissemination of some anti-war information, this leads to information overload in many people."

"It usually doesn't lead to the organization of mass protests. The so-called Occupy Movement was an aberration. People are just too distracted to protest," concluded Dr. Dulles.

The final report included opinions from the study's participants. Many were quite comfortable with the projection of American power into the world.

Joe, 25, said: "I think it's really cool that America is the #1 empire in the world with bases in more than 100 countries! Why would I stab my country in the back by protesting our wars of conquest?"

Others expressed doubt about the effectiveness of protesting wars.

"If a significant number of people gathered in protest, the government would just roll in the tanks and crush it like they did at Ferguson," said Sequoia, 21. "I would just end up being tasered."

"My brother says America's not even a democracy anymore. He may be right, but as long as I got an iPad, it still feels like a democracy to me," said Louise, 24.

"The fact that everything I do on my iPad is monitored by the government, big corporations and probably organized crime is disturbing, but I try not to think about it. There's just so many cool apps these days," said Stan, 19.

Dr. Dulles' next research project for Langley University will concentrate on the "inherent insanity of conspiracy theorists."

Dan Geddes